The Day I Became A Mama: The Water Birth of Lana Aurora

Magic. Absolute f&@*ing magic. Every time I think back to that day, I’m in awe of how powerful the female body is; how it can create, birth and sustain life. Almost six months down the track, chillin’ out on vacation in Noosa with our baby girl sleeping in a travel cot we borrowed and I still have these moments where I zoom out and think woah, this is my life now. How the ^#*@ did we get here? What a rollercoaster ride of emotions it’s been. And it all started on that chilly Winter morning in Melbourne, that turned out to be one of the most empowering, unforgettable experiences of my life.

So here is our story.. in its real, raw and unedited form 💚 xox Danielle

The Big Day

I remember reading about it on fifty-million blogs that when you’re in labour you “just know”. Well a whole lot of f&#^ing help that was to a 40 week + 2 days pregnant woman scouring google images for what a mucus plug looks like (ew, don’t do it!) paranoid at every stomach rumble. But now, looking back, they were totally right. It’s like suddenly the fuel ignites, the engine roars and baby kickstarts your goddess super turbo button and in that moment, your mind and body are in full birthing mode. No second-guessing. Nada. It’s pretty f*#&ing epic.

Early Labor – At Home
That moment came for me at around 7am on one of those classic Melbourne Winter mornings. It was sooo chilly out and I remember sleeping on my left side (so my mammoth belly could rest on something!) snuggled under two doona covers.

I woke up to this strong feeling of pressure in my lower stomach. Kind of like period pain but in one surge, out of nowhere. Then after about a minute, it stopped. I was getting ready to drift off to sleep again and then about 3 minutes later swoooosh, the pressure returned, slightly more intense.

Woah.. one after the other. That hasn’t happened before, I thought to myself.

And it kept happening, over and over. Like waves lapping the shore, back and forth. It would intensify, reach a peak and then subside. I was laying there remembering my doula’s advice to stay in bed for as long as I could, but by about 8am I was like yeah f*@& it, I can’t sleep through this on/off business! So I crept out into the lounge room, trying not to wake Ryan. If this really was the day, he would need as much sleep as he can get to have the energy to support me.

I cosied up to the heater and started my first meditation of the day. It was a visualisation meditation focused on the connection between mama and baby.

“Take some time now to communicate with your baby. This is a time you can talk to your baby about what has been happening in your life. If you have been feeling some stress and anxiety you can use this time to reassure your baby that these are your own emotions, things that you are working through, that your baby does not need to worry about or to take on board.” – Jason Stephenson, Pregnancy Guided Meditation

Such perfect words for those early moments. It helped me flush out any anxiety about what was to come, knowing that whatever I felt, she felt. And the last thing I wanted was my poor baby girl to be worried about any of this. We were gonna work together and get this done, in a calm and peaceful way. Hell, more than that, it was going to be freaking beautiful! I was absolutely convinced of it. And I honestly believe this conviction is what got me through.

A little while later Ryan emerged, ready to head off for his usual work day when he spotted me on the couch. I can’t really remember the conversation but I do remember him backing off into bed saying “yeah I’m not going in to work today”, so whatever he heard or saw was enough to convince him that he needed to stay home, haha!

I started to set up some creature comforts around me. I made this blissful elixir of essential oils for my diffuser that I kinda improvised at the time; a few drops of lavender (to relax), jasmine (to rejuvenate), clary sage (to keep labor going strong) and peppermint (calming and cooling).

Throughout the day the surges came and went and although they were uncomfortable, they weren’t that bad and very short lived. I’d get about 3 minutes in between each one to have a chat and drink some tea and munch on some snacks, it was actually pretty chill. I was certain that this whole baby thing was definitely happening but wasn’t sure at what point anything felt ‘hospital-worthy’, if you know what I mean.

Zoe, our doula, hung out with us and observed my behavior. When I asked her what she thought she said “If you’re still able to talk in between surges, you’ve still got a while yet”. At first I thought, but what if I’ve got a high pain threshold? Now, after having experienced the whole labor process, I understand what she meant. You know you’re still in early labor when the gaps in between are chill/chats time. In active labor, you’re pretty much using everything you’ve got to mentally and physically prepare for the next surge, which for me meant withdrawing into a quiet, deep meditative state.

I received the same advice across the board from our doctor, midwives and doula to stay home as long as possible during early labor. It’s where you feel most comfortable and will therefore encourage labor to progress. With no nurses prodding around at you (I’ll get to that) it also raises your chances of a natural birth. So unless it’s your second time around and you’re a quick birther (second birth is apparently even quicker!) chill at home until active labor kicks in. I did that and looking back it was the most enjoyable part of labor because I could feel the magic slowly unfolding and my body preparing itself, all in the comfort of my own home. I loved it that much it got me thinking I may even give home birth a try next time ’round!

Dee’s early labor go-tos:

Aromatherapy: Have fun creating your own birthing blend, here are some aromatherapy tips I found useful
Labor goodies bag: Unlike the hospital bag, the goodies bag was JUST FOR ME 😍 All my fave nick nacks for the baby marathon ahead! Trail mix, bliss balls, coconut water, a block of Green & Blacks 85% dark chocolate, my fluffy hot water bottle, TENS machine, diffuser, oils, fairy lights, bikini top, floor cushion.
Magic Tea: It was a complete coincidence that we drank what is now my favourite tea on the day I ended up giving birth. I’ve stocked up a few canisters full because hey, it kinda was magic afterall!
Singing bowl: Tuned to the musical note F, associated with the heart chakra, I played the bowl and meditated with this in mind. It was a great distraction between surges.
Youtube: Anything 5-10 mins in length is ideal. We watched footage from our travels. I particularly enjoyed the Northern lights ones, which felt special considering we were planning on naming her after them.
After giving me the all clear (for now), Zoe went back home to check in with her family and said she’d return in a few hours. Before she left, she shared a gem of wisdom with us. She told Ryan to look out for any obvious changes in my behavior. She didn’t elaborate, she just said he would know it when he saw it. And to call her right away.

Active Labor – At Home
By about 5pm, the surges became stronger and the meditation was only doing so much. It was time to bring in the big guns. Ryan, already well rehearsed, patched the TENS machine up to my lower back. He gave me the remote and told me to push the button whenever a surge came. The idea is that these short electrical pulses on your back, like mini shocks, are meant to disturb the pain signals before they reach the brain. Whatever it was doing, it was an amazing distraction and saved me at this point.

Then, after an hour or so – out of nowhere – I start crying. I legit don’t even know why. What the?! Bingo, there’s that obvious change. Ryan immediately called Zoe. When she returned, I cried in her arms and told her I didnt know why I was crying. It wasn’t because of the pain, it was just this rush of emotions that had overcome my body. Looking back, I totally get it – that was the shift from early to active labor. Isn’t that awesome?! That mushy love hormone, oxytocin, was flooding through my body and it made me feel emotionally overwhelmed, which on the one hand was fantastic because it means everything was working just fine, but on the other.. it meant things were about to get real intense. This was my body telling me.. Yep. You’re gonna need this feel-good natural high, cause I’m about to… 🤛🏼

Dee’s tip: Did you know oxytocin is actually 10 x stronger than morphine? Well hell yeah, bring that on. Thanks body! Another fun fact: the level of oxytocin your body produces is directly correlated to the level of pain you’re in, its like this perfectly formulated cycle to help you get through. Which means if you do decide to take pain relief, your body won’t produce as much oxytocin. Boooo! Hence why I decided I would rather go without drugs not to disturb that magical natural process perfectly formulated for my body.

I could tell Zoe knew this was the hustle-to-the-hospital moment but she handled it so well, another reason I love this woman. She used her soft spoken inside voice and suggested to Ryan that he start packing things into the car. I knew at the time that she was trying to sound chill not to get me flustered, but at the same time kinda lighting a fire under Ryan’s a#$ like “let’s get things moving now” type of thing, haha. I was in such a deep meditative state though, that I just chose to ignore it and not stress about it, and continued on with listening to my music.

The car was packed and ready for that infamous drive!

But.. the surges were so frequent now I was barely making it 7 steps without the next one starting. Before getting to the back door I felt like I needed a toilet stop. One last wee in my house as a childless woman, I thought to myself. And then ew.. wait, something else. I wiped and there it was, just like those hideous google images I can never un-see again, the mucus plug. I was like yep, bath plug removed, this thing is happening! No going back now!

Dee’s active labor go-tos:

TENS machine: We bought this one.

Guided Meditations & nature sounds: Here is the playlist I used for my labor and birth, you’re welcome to use it! It was utterly perfect for what I needed. Make sure you download it to your phone (hospitals tend to not have wifi!) and pack headphones so you can continue listening to it in the car on the way to the hospital to stay “in the zone”. The rush of getting to the hospital and the initial checks they do when you arrive can slow the whole birthing process down and I don’t know about you but I wasn’t about to do this thing twice – so I had every trick up my sleeve to keep it going!

Hospital room decor: Candlelight isn’t allowed in hospitals, so Zoe set up a low-lit, cozy ambiance with my gorgeous Aroma Bloom diffuser (in green; keeping theme with the Northern lights, of course) fairy lights and LED candles. We did our best to trick my body into thinking I was still at home; safe and comfortable. I have a thing about hospitals.. and eek, you’ll see why in a second

Active Labor – In Hospital / Examination room
So we arrive at the hospital and I’m doing all the right things to keep labor moving along. I’ve got my headphones in, my eyes closed and still in a deep meditative state, Zoe and Ryan guide me to the maternity ward. All our goodies in hand, we follow protocol and wait in the hallway for a midwife to take us into an examination room. We head in, my eyes open and woaaah – I’m almost blinded by bright fluorescent lights. It’s the exact opposite of how things have been. A sterile window-less room with a hospital bed and a million machines to measure and prod at me. F#*k.

I lie back as instructed, keep one headphone in and my eyes closed, to try and stay in the zone. I’m assessed, all the usual harmless stuff like blood pressure etc. Zoe can see that I’m uncomfortable so she asks if the lights can be dimmed. They are, but it results in the midwife clutsing around and dropping the thermometer, tripping over things. Not letting this one anywhere near my vag, I think to myself, haha! She switches the lights back on high and then back to low after each check to try to accommodate but it feels like a goddam disco.

Then, as she’s progressing through the checks I mention that I don’t want an internal examination. The midwife stops in her tracks, as if she’s seen a ghost. She explains that without an internal exam she can’t see how far along I am and can’t give me a Labor room. Wait, what?!

My blood starts to boil over as I argue “Isn’t it my legal right to refuse an internal examination?” Damn right it is, I read about this several times over. Internal exams increase the risk of medical intervention – a simple slip of the hand can artificially break the waters and start the domino effect of every intervention under the sun. No thanks. She continues to brick wall me. “Yes it is. But how do you plan on knowing how far along you are?” I’m thinking wtf b#tch, there were so many non-intrusive methods I read up on online, but as if I studied them – I’m not the freaking midwife, you are. Plus, I know my goddam body and I know this baby is on its way, I don’t need someone to f#&king measure me to tell me that. Ughhh. Anyway, didn’t say that. Was just dumbfounded, because I legit couldn’t believe she was arguing with me while I was in labor.

She lies me on my back AGAIN and times my surges. Not the most comfortable 10 minutes of my life. “You’re having 3 contractions within 10 minutes so you’re probably a while off. Anyway I can’t give you a room until we know how far along you are.” So basically, that was more pointless measuring, f$&#. And here I can feel the labor slowing down, minute by minute.

Then my fight response kicked into flight. I started asking Zoe if it’s safe at this point to just birth at home. The midwife was trying to convince me against it, saying that she has a duty of care to me now that I’m here but I was like “well, if you don’t know how far along I am, then you’re not obligated to keep me here right? so.. ” haha, god I was pissed. This was really going South. I don’t think I’d been this angry my entire life. And all the while I’m feeling surges come and go.

“So what would you like to do?” The midwife asks. “Well I don’t exactly have a choice do I, it’s either do the examination or go home, that’s pretty much what you’re telling me isn’t it” The midwife realises we are butting heads and asks me what my issues are. I explain “..for all my prenatal appointments I’d met with midwives who encouraged natural birth and I was under the impression that this hospital was pro-natural but that clearly isn’t the case”.

Then Zoe chimes in. She asks if we can stay in the room, the midwife says yes, so she suggests we start to set up our creature comforts in there, just until we can get our own room. I like that idea. It calms me back down for the minute. The midwife then suggests to check if one of the midwives I saw in my prenatal appointments were on roster and if I’d prefer to see them. I say yes, and after a few more altercations she leaves us. Zoe puts the final touches on her beautiful set up, the room is transformed and I can get back to birthing the way nature intended.

With the prodding over and midwife nowhere in sight, things really start to intensify over the next hour or two, surges becoming stronger and more frequent. It’s back to about the level it was when I left home (before these last few wasted hours). Back on track. The new midwife comes into the room and introduces herself, reiterates that it’s fine if I’d prefer not to have the internal exam and speaks in a sweet, understanding tone “So I see here you’d like a water birth? How about I go and run the bath for you, it should take about 40minutes to fill the bath, is that ok? How does that sound?”

Oh hell yes. Magical! So she went and prepped the bath. When she came back I got the sudden curiousity to know how far along I was and I felt safe with this new midwife so I volunteered an internal exam. I was 6cm dialated. Considering 10cm is pretty much giving birth, it meant this mission was 60% complete. Awesome.

In the time it took to fill that bath, things sure did escalate. I was back and forth between the room, the hallway and toilet, barely making it 4 steps now between surges.

Transition – In Hospital / Examination room
At this point the tens machine was on full, yet it wasn’t doing sh#@ anymore. I remember clutching at the bed, still kneeling on my floor cushion, head between my arms saying to Zoe “Oh my god I don’t know if I can do this. Is it too late for pain relief?” She knew full well I didn’t want it.

In fact, this sudden self-doubt was a textbook sign that I was in transition. Where a rush of adrenalin takes over the body as it switches its focus from softening the cervix (stage 1) to pushing the baby out (stage 2). I had read all about this and knew I’d have that freak out moment but at the time, I completely forgot. “You are so close now, you’re doing such an amazing job, you’ve got this”, Zoe tells me. Just what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. Of course, this woman knows what she’s doing!

The bath is full and everyone knows its time for baby to make the grand entry. Except one small problem – with surges coming what feels like every 30 seconds, I can now barely walk without stopping and falling to my knees. Combine that with still having one headphone in and my eyes closed in deep meditation, and there was little chance I was making it to that bath on the other side of the hall. So near, and yet so far. The midwife, Zoe and Ryan attempt to carry my almost limp body to help me make the walk. We make it to the hallway but the next surge has me down on the floor again. Yeah, this is isnt working.

Sensing the urgency, the nurses bring a wheelchair, my amazing team lift me up into it and off I roll – zooming across to that bath I’ve been waiting all day for. God knows I need it, I’m probably a wretched stinkbomb by now.

Zoe offers me the bikini top I’d packed for myself. I entertain the thought for a millisecond and then think nah, throw my dress off and head for the tub. Just before I get in – swooshh! Like a childhood nightmare of me pissing myself in public – on steriods – this massive gush of water-like fluid comes flooding out from my nether regions and all over the floor. Funny how I’m in the home stretch and it’s only now that my waters break. Movies are so full of s#%.

I move into the tub and my instincts tell me to put one hand on my belly and the other on the tub. I just go with it. The water is sooo warm and relaxing. Considering baths are like my favorite thing in the world, and considering where I’m at pain-wise, its like the best thing ever at this point.

The pain sensation is significantly reduced, I can definitely feel the difference. I remember thinking at the time about the articles I’d read on water births and how entering the water can slow down labor, so I make note not to lose focus on the task at hand! Pretty sure it was happening whether I liked it or not, anyways.

It came time to “push” as they like to so delicately say. Of course, I had no plans on doing that. Do you push when you go to the toilet? Hmmm no. We all know how that story ends. And I wasnt planning on ripping my naughty bits! So as my hypnobirthing instructor suggested, I used each surge to exhale slowly and breathe the baby down. I felt like this encouraged my body to open and relax rather than the idea of pushing and tightening. Perhaps it’s psychological, but it worked for me.

Dee’s transition/baby descent go-tos:

Hypnobirthing and watching calm water births gave us techniques to use in the bath, like Ryan pouring water on my back and me bearing down.

Further and further down she went until she started “crowning”, reaching a charming spot they call “the ring of fire”. Who the f#%$ comes up with this terminology. Anyway, to be honest it was kinda accurate, haha. I mean, it felt probably as painful as I’d imagine it would feel to eject a small head. No more and no less, really. The thing I didnt know was that the surges slow down during this part of birthing, so I tell you what, waiting for the next surge while the circumference of a baby head was sitting in my vajayjay felt like the longest few minutes OF MY LIFE.

But then finally.. at 11.07pm the surge came. And with one last exhale, her whole body went woosh under the water, into the midwife’s arms and straight back onto my chest.. and there she was. A tiny little baby girl. Omgggggggg. Look at this little thing. I made her. WE made her.